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When I was a 6th-grade teacher, I had a sign in my classroom with the acronym THINK. I encouraged my students to THINK before they spoke. With all they said, I wanted them to consider were their words True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? Speaking truth without kindness just makes you harsh. Words that aren’t helpful—and which can actually be harmful—just don’t need to be shared. But the vast majority of people in the world didn’t go through my 6th-grade classroom. And so, instead of expecting people to speak kindly, we must learn the art of becoming unoffendable.
Understanding Offense through a Biblical Lens
The Bible, our timeless guide, speaks volumes about the heart’s condition when offended and God’s invitation to choose forgiveness over resentment. Proverbs 19:11 tell us, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” This, alongside James 1:19’s urging to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” sketches a clear biblical stance on how to approach offense—not with immediate reaction, but with patience and understanding.
The Journey to Becoming Unoffendable
Starting on the path to becoming unoffendable requires us to harness a few core virtues, notably empathy, forgiveness, and a profound acknowledgment of God’s sovereignty over our lives. It demands from us a commitment to see beyond our personal grievances, to understand the stories and struggles of others, and to place our trust in God’s greater plan.
The fact is life is not all about us. Most people just say what’s on their mind because they can get away with it in the anonymity of the internet. I’m most likely not going to meet the people who read my words. I can say whatever I want. But just because I can doesn’t mean I should.
And so, I can choose to ignore the unthinking words of people who don’t know anything about me and don’t care if they offend me or not. But Jesus calls His followers to a higher standard, both of speaking kind words, and letting go of offenses.
Prayer and meditation on Scriptures make up our toolbox for this transformation. By actively engaging with God’s Word, we invite His Spirit to soften our hearts and renew our minds, allowing us to respond to life’s offenses not with frustration but with grace and a peace that transcends human understanding.
Cultivating a Heart of Peace
Galatians 5:22-23 introduces us to the fruit of the Spirit. Along with love and joy, peace stands out as a paramount quality. Allowing the Holy Spirit to cultivate such fruit within us directly influences our reactions to offenses. It’s in nurturing daily habits of gratitude, dedicating moments to reflect on God’s promises, and actively participating in a faith community that supports and uplifts, that we find our capacity for peace heightened.
Becoming Unoffendable in Relationships
Theory meets practice when we become unoffendable in our relationships. It means setting healthy boundaries, yes, but it also means loving others as Christ loves us, even when they’re hard to love. It’s about seeing beyond the immediate hurt to the healing potential of every interaction. This principle extends to our digital interactions as well, where kindness and understanding can indeed light up the digital sphere.
The Example of Jesus
I can’t even count the times that I’ve typed out a response to some ridiculous post online. And then I pause. I take a deep breath and go through that acronym I taught my 6th graders: Is what I’m saying true, helpful, inspirational, necessary, and kind? Most of the time my hair-trigger reaction doesn’t meet that standard. Delete, delete, delete.
What if Jesus took offense every time someone said something that offended Him? Take the account in Matthew 4, for instance, where Satan came and tempted Jesus when He was alone in the wilderness. Jesus would have wanted to defend God’s Word against the twisting Satan did to it. After all, He was the Word made flesh! But instead of lashing out at Satan, which Jesus definitely could have done, He chose to answer Satan’s lies with Scripture.
There are many more accounts of Jesus’ response to those who spoke evil against Him. Like when the Pharisees accused Him of being possessed by Beelzebub, the “prince of the devils.” Can you imagine how offensive that was to Jesus? Yet He didn’t hold onto offense. He loved them because He saw them as image bearers of God lost in the darkness of their hearts. I think those kinds of accusations made Jesus very sad. But that’s why He came: to redeem the lost, to free the captives.
Listen now to a short segment of a meditation from Abide based on James 1:19. Let God speak to your heart about how listening more and talking less helps you in becoming unoffendable.
Choose the path to becoming unoffendable instead of bearing the weight of anger and resentment. Let Jesus’ example, and the wise words of Scripture, be your guide. The Bible invites us into a life marked not by pettiness and retaliation but by peace and joy. It’s a decision that doesn’t lead us away from reality but deeper into it, armed with a heart full of love and a spirit of forgiveness that can only come from our Heavenly Father.
For further help in becoming unoffendable, download the Abide app. Our more than 1500 biblical meditations all exist to help you do life God’s way and live more in His love. Here’s 25% off to get you started.
Stephanie Reeves is the senior editor for Abide. She and her husband live in Orlando, Fla., as do their 3 adult children and 1 adorable grandson.
