Patience in the Liminal Place Between Wakefulness and Sleep 

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It happened again last night. That’s two nights in a row. 

Insomnia. It’s the worst. My body is exhausted, but my brain can’t find its “off” switch. The panic sets in. I’m going to be useless tomorrow if I don’t get some sleep. My work will suffer. I’ll blow that big deadline. Okay…if I fall asleep right now, that will be five hours. I can work with five hours. Okay…four hours, that’s still doable…. 

Why can’t I do this? The whole house is asleep…probably the whole neighborhood. Everyone is asleep but me. I feel so alone. 

Of course, I know I’m not alone. Five minutes on the internet will tell me that. But rational thought goes out the window when I’m in the middle of an insomnia jag.  

Prepare for Rest

I’ve been thinking lately about the Sabbath and how God commanded His people not only to rest, but to prepare for rest. They had to gather their manna ahead of time so that their daily tasks would not interfere with the joy of stillness.  

When I couldn’t sleep last night, I picked up a book called I Shouldn’t Feel This Way by Dr. Alison Cook. The chapter I read discusses a concept from religious studies called “liminal places.” These are periods of transition, such as the forty years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness between their enslavement in Egypt and their arrival in the Promised Land. Dr. Cook says, “Regardless of how big or small, these places in between are crucial. They’re where inner transformation occurs—where you deliberately slow yourself down…. The problem is we don’t normalize these in-between places, at least not in our fast-paced American culture. Instead, we’re expected to move quickly to the next thing—to jump from naming a challenge to fixing it.” ¹ 

Interesting that I found this passage about liminal places right when I needed it. Coincidence? Or God trying to drive a message into my hard head?  

Surrender Control

I tend to view my insomnia as a personal failure, and perhaps it is. I can be Type A to the extreme, pushing myself just up until bedtime, desperate to accomplish just one more thing before the day is through. Once in bed, I’ll often think about how I’m going to attack the next day. None of this, of course, promotes good sleep—or any sleep at all. Then, as I lie awake, I berate myself for not sleeping. I command my body to do my bidding, but it refuses to obey.  

I’m suffering from what experts call “sleep effort,” a sort of performance anxiety. The harder I try to make myself sleep, the worse my insomnia becomes.  

Sleep, like every other gift from God, is nothing I can earn or demand. I have to trust that God will take care of me, that eventually, I will cease my struggling and surrender to my Maker’s tender mercy. I must accept that I am in a liminal place and let go of the illusion that I am in control. Part of my fallen nature is that I occasionally forget that God doesn’t need my help. I have to remind myself of Isaiah 55:8-9: “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (ESV).  

Let God Be Near

When we go through something difficult, we are wise to ask ourselves what God might be trying to teach us through this circumstance. I know that God loves me. I know that He works all things together for my good (Romans 8:28). So if God loves me and seeks my good, and sleep is good for me, why isn’t He giving me some sort of spiritual Ambien? I suppose that even asking this question is proof that sleeplessness negatively impacts my spiritual maturity. I generally know better than to think of God as my personal genie in the sky, granting my every request. 

As my thoughts tangle in my sleep-deprived brain, I remember that my personal failures are where God shows His strength. Of course I can’t make myself sleep. Nor can I make myself continue to draw breath or command my heart to beat. As Matthew 5:36 reminds me, I can’t even make a single hair on my head white or black. Yet in my helplessness, He is near: “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth” (Psalm 145:18, ESV). I’m never alone. Psalm 139:8 offers beautiful reassurance on this point: “If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there” (NIV).  

Tonight, I’m going to seek that liminal place between waking and sleeping. I’m going to stretch into it, doing my best to surrender my need for control and accomplishment. I’m going to ask my loving Father for rest, confident that He will provide it in His timing. I’m not the only one who is awake. My Father, who “neither slumber[s] nor sleep[s]” (Psalm 121:1-4, NIV) is right beside me. 

Listen to a short snippet of this sleep story from Abide based on Isaiah 55:8 about God’s mysterious ways. Experience how meditating on God’s Word before you sleep can help bridge the liminal places you feel as you rest in Him.

Getting better sleep helps you have better mental clarity, more energy, and a brighter outlook on life. Meditating on God’s Word as you fall asleep can help you achieve that goal. Abide sleep stories have brought better sleep to thousands of people around the world. Download the app now and save 25% off a premium subscription. Start experiencing better sleep with God’s Word.

Ginger Rue is the author of nine books for teens, tweens, and children and is a contributing editor for Guideposts magazine. She lives in Alabama with her husband and children.

1. 1 Dr. Alison Cook, I Shouldn’t Feel This Way: Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage Into Brave Action. Nelson Books, 2024. Releasing May 7th. ↩︎