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When my husband and I went through our infertility struggle many years ago, we knew we needed prayer. When we suffered three miscarriages in the next four years, those prayers sustained us. Through all our hard times, we always knew we had people we could count on to pray for us and stand with us. We strengthen bonds in the body of Christ when we’re willing to weep when others weep and rejoice when they rejoice. Here are five ways to strengthen bonds with your spiritual family.
Let Them in on Your Life
One thing my husband and I learned after being away from our physical families for more than 30 years is that they can’t know what we don’t tell them. And vice versa. It was so important to us that we heard from people through letters and phone calls after we miscarried our first baby.
We strengthened bonds with those people who reached out to us with such love. They understood the command to rejoice and weep alongside others. Not everything needs to be known by everybody, but when you let in those who mean the most to you, you realize that a strand of three cords is indeed not easily broken.
Be Authentic
We try to make ourselves look perfect, but nobody is. The more authentic we can be about our struggles, the more we can strengthen bonds in the body of Christ. Whether wrestling with a failing marriage, a wandering child, financial hardship, or mental health issues we can connect with people who face the same hardships but have been afraid to say so.
Think about that new mom whose baby won’t sleep unless she’s holding it. How much relief will she feel when someone shares that their child did the same thing? And then offers to help with meals or housework for this exhausted mama.
Examples abound for those who try to struggle along on their own. But the Bible instructs us to carry one another’s burden and thus fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2)
Show Vulnerability
There was a time in our marriage when my husband and I needed to get some counseling. We had some issues that we were having a hard time solving ourselves. But we also had small children and no family nearby to help watch them. And so we opened up with some friends who had children the same age as ours. Letting them know what we were doing, we asked if they’d be willing to watch our kids while we went to counseling.
It felt embarrassing at first to be vulnerable about our need, but their support—both emotionally and physically—strengthened the bonds of our friendship.
Maybe you’ve struggled with an addiction in the past that you have since overcome. Consider how someone might benefit from your experience. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
The lessons we learn through our hardships are not for us alone. What we learn we can pass on to others. But they won’t know we’ve struggled if we aren’t courageous to be vulnerable with them.
Share Your Needs
There’s not a single person in the world, not even the wealthiest or most famous, who doesn’t have needs. Mine are going to look very different from theirs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have them.
Let your needs be known. I have a friend who no longer drives, and she lives nearly half an hour from me, but she really wants to come to church and attend events. And so she needs rides. She hates asking, but she would be stuck at home if she didn’t. She can’t afford ride shares everywhere, and people are glad to help.
Maybe I have a need to learn how to do something. I could struggle along trying to teach myself by reading a manual or watching a YouTube video, but I will strengthen bonds with my friends if I ask someone who knows how for help. It’s more fun that way too!
It’s okay to have needs. Believe it or not, even Jesus, as a human, had them. He needed the disciples to find a room for them to celebrate the Passover meal. He asked them to go into the village and find a colt for him to ride when He entered Jerusalem. He even asked several of the disciples to stay up and pray with Him the night before he was arrested.
Strengthen bonds with those around you by asking for what you need. Then, in turn, meet the needs of others when they ask you.
Pray for One Another
Prayer changes your perspective and strengthens bonds with your family of faith. Paul wrote to Timothy as the church in Ephesus faced growing concern about false teachers, “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.”
There have been people in my life that I haven’t been very fond of. We weren’t adversaries, but they got on my nerves. Now, I don’t expect to be best friends with everyone, but I was finding it hard to find any love in my heart for these people.
One day I decided to start praying for them. I didn’t know what was going on in their lives because we weren’t friends, but I prayed generally prayers for peace, for a relationship with God, for their health and their families. Nothing about them changed during that time. But something about me did.
I can’t say that we ever became besties, but my heart began to soften. They didn’t irritate me as much as they used to. I started seeing them as an image bearer of God rather than someone I didn’t necessarily get along with.
Further Reflection on Strengthening Bonds
Listen now to a segment of an Abide meditation based on Galatians 6:2. Let God speak to your heart about letting others share your loads.
God didn’t intend for us to do life alone. We can strengthen bonds of friendship and fellowship when we make a concerted effort to let people into our lives, be authentic and vulnerable, let them know our needs and how they can pray for us. Everyone has struggles and successes that should be safe to share with the Body of Christ.
Let Abide be your daily companion as you seek to strengthen bonds in your family of faith. Our more than 1500 biblical meditations all exist to help you grow closer to God. Download the app and start a premium subscription. This will unlock our entire library of content. Use this link for 25% off.
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